Dearest Vacuum

I have been reading and loving FourSons’ “Letters Of Intent” (and those of which are linked) for awhile now and have decided to add to the mayhem fun! I highly recommend heading over there and reading all the letters.

 

Dearest Vacuum:

Everyone in the house would like to let you know we are saddened by your upcoming demise. I know that you are relatively new and I have only been using you for about four months but you need to know that you will, eventually, die a horrible death. You have had many, many predecessors who have all met their unfortunate early end. I will use you everyday when I can and multiple times a day if I need to. I will force you to suck up things that you probably will be unable to clean and if you don’t clean it I will be upset with you. I will fill your bagless canister to the brim and most of it will be hair of both the human and canine variety. You will see your share of bugs both dead and alive and once you have sucked them up there is a strong chance that I will run away from you making strange squealing noises. My children will use you to play with and most likely knock you over. As much abuse and torment I put you through please know that I love you and cherish every back-and-forth, every whirl of your engine and every switch of your floor/carpet button. I apologize in advance for the horrifying noises and possible smoke that will inevitably rise from you as you reach your final moment.

 

Sincerely,

H2Mommy