Happy 1/1/11!
Another mom in my town posted this challenge on her blog and I thought I would play along.
Over the course of the past few years I have learned that I am nice to a fault and it is something that I hate about myself. I let people constantly run me over and use me. I have been used by friend and family members alike and its very hard to deal with especially when I can not find it in me to hold a grudge and I let the cycle continue.
After my latest childcare/employment disaster occurred I started to do a little reminiscing and discovered that I have had several jobs (both as a self employed childcare provider and working at another place of business) where I was not paid. Let me count this out for you I’ve have three child care jobs (totaling $1,400.00) and four other jobs (tending bar, cashiering at a restaurant, cashiering at a craft store and working in an established nursery school) where I was either never paid at all or was not paid for my last months wages. I know that I should have fought tooth and nail for the money that I worked so hard for but I never did…I just sucked it up and moved on. This is what I hate about myself.
I want so badly to be one of those women who is strong, feisty and is willing to put up a fight but I am not. I am meek and mild. I am not timid mind you but I am not one to want confrontation. I’m not sure how to fix this within myself but I know that I need to. Over the past few years there have been a major situation that really made me see how badly I was being used and I was able to stand up for myself but it took every inch of strength and courage I had and drained me of everything ounce of emotion I had. I just know that I can not let people take my graciousness and kindness for granted anymore and I need to figure out that fine line between compassion and fortitude.
Day 1: Something you hate about yourself. Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like poopy.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
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